Just be yourself. It’s something that most of our parents have said to us at some time or another. Usually it’s said when we need a boost of confidence, perhaps right before a first date or a job interview. “Oh yes, of course,” we would say to ourselves, “that’s right, I’ll just be myself.” It sounds easy enough, doesn’t it?
Have you ever actually wondered what that really means? How do you really know who you are?
Some of us know who we are and have never had to wonder. Still many of us aren’t really sure who we are at all. We also don’t really know how to go about finding out.
Finding out who you really are takes a lot of reflection, self awareness and self discovery. Most of all, it takes patience and a lot of honesty.
Can you really be a confident, happy and authentic person until you really know who you are?
Probably not! If you are not comfortable being yourself or you don’t know who you really are, or are supposed to be, then you have to pretend to be someone else. It’s like living a lie always worried that someone will find you out.
So how can you find yourself and more importantly love yourself?
First think about what’s important to you. What are your values?
Values include family, friends, love, honesty, fun, kindness, adventure, learning, creativity, education, religion, exploration, loyalty, fairness, alone time, social time, hard work, free time and the list goes on.
Think about those things that are most important to you and then try to rank them in order of importance. This is about you, and only you, remember that. These are not what your culture or your family thinks. These are your values and they are very personal.
Be sure that you don’t ever compromise your values. In order to be true to your self you must guard them dearly, defend them and live by them every day.
Now, think about your personality. Do you any special quirks? An incredible sense of humor? Are you quiet and thoughtful? Someone people can count on? The life of the party?
Next, think about what people say about you? Take a few moments and write those things down. Think about them. Are they things you’ve accepted or rejected? How true are they? Embrace those things that you like and try to change those things you don’t like. This might take some time so be patient with yourself. You’ll never be perfect and that’s okay.
Now add what you know and love about yourself to your list. Are you a positive person, full of energy? Do you love nature and animals? Whatever it is, it is you. You are unique and wonderful just as you are.
Next, think about what you are good at. Are you an artist? Good at math or writing? Perhaps you are really good at sports or acting. You might be great at listening to people and being a really good friend.
Everyone is good at something, in fact everyone is good at many things. Know what you’re good at. Own it! Tell everyone! It’s not bragging. It’s acknowledging that you have certain talents and that you know what they are. If we all knew what each other was good at it would sure make it easier to find the right person to help us when we needed it, wouldn’t it?
Lastly, know your weaknesses. Most of us aren’t good at things we don’t really enjoy doing so it’s actually a good thing to know, and admit, what those things are. No one should be expected to be good at everything. It’s just not possible!
Focus on what you’re good at and get really good at it. This is being the best you can be. It’s probably your passion and that’s really what we all should be following anyway!
It might sound a bit funny but own your weaknesses too. Don’t feel like you have to hide them or pretend that you don’t have any. Being honest about what you’re good at and not so good at is what authentic people do. You will be more credible, more approachable and you will become more confident! People who know who they are, and own it, are much more confident and certainly authentic!
Authentic people know that they don’t have to be perfect. They know that they are good enough just as they are. Authentic people know themselves and, more importantly, like themselves. Be who you are. Love who you are! Be comfortable with who you are.
You are good enough! So, just be yourself!